Becoming Independent

Independence image

I’ve started my own company and it’s been up for over a year now.  It’s my company on writing – based on advice from an accountant at Writers Digest – and now I am the sole owner of an LLC business.  I recently left my full time job and that has become a bit of a challenge in a good way.  I am now challenged daily to have a work schedule that will focus ONLY on my work, my business, and making it grow.  I have a fund to work with – savings, really – and I have signed up with a shared office space within which to do the mundane things of putting up my laptop and writing in relative peace.  I can’t always write at home, especially with cats jumping on my desk and wanting a pet, or with my dog snoozing at my feet and getting all antsy once I am astir, to beg for treats at each moment that I’m not stuck at my home desk.

I don’t really miss the work meme – that sort of atmosphere of being amongst people in a company – not yet, anyway.  A friend of mine who worked for a company as a remote employee told me that she missed her cube mates.  But I’m not that sort of person even at work where I liked to chat with cube mates and meet at the kitchen to pour out coffee and comment on the day’s activities.  In my more mature years, that loner label has been cast at my direction more than once.  I accept that, and yet to some, the loner label is anathema.  Why is that?  I don’t know.  I like the idea of going at things alone, yet there is always that Higher Power that moves me and so I really am not alone.  Perhaps, in the work mode, team playing is big and that is what people are comfortable with.  Being a loner at a corporate level is not good, if I read these corporate types right. I can see why, they all need your input, they need your gut feelings on decisions and so on.  I seem to digress but perhaps this is part of the reason why I am going on my own.  I don’t want to have to work for somebody on projects that no longer appeal.

My work then is my writing.  The stuff that my dreams are based on.  I can be sure that if I spend time struggling with a document’s formatting (which I did yesterday with rather desperate results!), I can say that I am working on my stuff so I don’t consider it a waste of ‘company’ time.  I find it hard to think of some (digressing here) documents that are templates really, and make them into what I want them to be.  I think that the time to self-teach (go to and take some short courses on say, Microsoft Word?, lol) is here.  But, I would rather spend all my time learning how to create document templates (stationery, e.g.) than having to create hyperlinks to documents that go to an internal database that would never really be helpful to anyone but the person working on the document.  This sort of thing actually happened at my former workplace.  Imagine hyperlinking almost every word or term in documents for a stretch of days at a time?  No it was time to quit. LOL.

I am grateful for the independence from a job that has become onerous.  I may one day work part time to supplement my business, but that might not ever come because, hey, maybe God will send me a publishing contract (smile).  However it may be in my future, I think I’ll be ok.  I think that despite the risks involved in putting up my shingle at my age, I think I will be ok.  I give all to My God, and to His direction.  That is what keeps me from going into a stark reality that seems to cloud minds and reduce the creativity in this world.

I would suggest those who wish to strike out on their own to do it soon, but to find their passion first. And, more importantly, to ASK GOD for Guidance and Patience.  Things will one day be ok.  But the good part is that getting there will be filled with many moments of fun and good feelings. Imagine yourself in your own place, in your own office, having a cup of tea or coffee, wandering into the kitchen and finding snacks, petting the dog, and then going back to work. I think that’s an ideal life. And an ideal workplace.

On Turning 60

I am now 60.  I have been since 9-12.  It is a rather strange feeling to be 60 when I certainly don’t feel like I am.  And people I know are puzzled to look at me and know or be told my age.  They find it odd that I don’t look 60 to them. But I’m just thinking that I don’t look 60 because of perhaps a few things that are unique to me:  I am single.  I’ve never had children.  And, I happen to be Asian.  These things give away the main reasons why I don’t look my age.  There were no marital issues in my life, and children had never given me the frown lines nor the smile lines around my mouth.  The turning of age to 60 is a jolt, to be sure, because I feel as though I am yet unfinished.  I am several years till retirement age.  And yet, here I am, going for my MFA in Creative Writing.  I could also want to just retire and bake bread all day, or clean my house.  Or garden. All these are fine.  Yet, I feel like I am still able to contribute to society.  I don’t like to travel and hate airports.  I’d rather then find a way to keep myself alert and do what I always loved to do.  And that is to write.  Stories. Blogs. Screenplays.  Essays.  Like this.

I am certainly feeling that God had a hand in my life story.  I’ve had many – or really, several jobs, and changed careers a few times.  So now I think that 60 is, as many profess, merely a number.

I don’t mind being 60.  I try to not think of being 60. I still feel new at the 60 generation.  I don’t like spandex waistbands but I like how they allow me to have an extra helping of pasta.  I find it hard to believe that I would even become romantically involved at 60.  My interests don’t take me very far from home.  And I surely think that God is still working on me, and from Him am I getting ideas and graces and inspirations.

So, now that I’m one fourth of the way to being 61, I am happy to say that I am glad I made it to 60.  I’m one lucky person who came through the last year of unrest in politics, conflicts in many areas of the world, and even periods of sadness that blossomed into this period of (and I hope it is a long one) happy creativity.